Remember to take your arm floaties
Mental health is like a choose your own adventure. There’s an infinite number of paths you can take each with their own unique possibilities. There’s no wrong answer on how you get started and where it leads you can be a beautiful place.
Deciding to seek a formal diagnosis however is one of the more daunting aspects of starting a mental health journey. According to Mental Health America, 4.8 million Black Americans reported having a mental illness – yet In 2018, 58% of Black young adults 18-25 and 50% of adults over 26 with serious mental illness did not receive treatment.
As the barriers to mental health are being dismantled in the Black community and more of us are seeking professional help through talk therapy and digital wellness communities, our culture is still stuck in the trap of stigmatizing formal diagnosis and treatment. As we continue the collective unlearning of what it means to be a mentally well society, more can be done to lower the stigma towards seeking treatment when the mental health concern becomes bigger than anxiety and depression.
For me, this unlearning started in 2019, when I was first diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder.
I was in grad school, a year after my grandmother had passed. The program I was in was notorious for having people visit the counseling center. We were only second behind medical students, so it was no surprise that I wanted to talk to someone about the stresses of the program and how overwhelming it had become. I wanted a safe space to vent with someone who could understand me, provide some clarity, and allow me to process the loss of a loved one in a better way than I had been.
I went in for one reason, but ended up staying for another.
After a series of conversations I quickly started to unpack how these feelings weren’t new. They had existed for most, if not all, of my life. Couple that with some pretty intense reactions to various antidepressants, my doctor eventually sat me down and leveled with me, “It might be something bigger than just being really sad and anxious.”
I assumed that what I was dealing with was just lifelong waves of depression that would consume me whole and spit me back out, but when I discovered that I’d been living with this condition it all made sense. Still, I spent so much time thinking that having this disorder would make me be seen as less than. I feared that the world would treat me like a porcelain doll, or even worse, cast me aside. I believed that this type of mental health issue just didn’t happen to women like me.
Now I see myself as member of an elite squad of human beings who, as Taylor Tomlinson describes it, just needed some “Arm Floaties” to survive.
The reality is that, despite the fear of having the initial conversation, this diagnosis has been the catalyst to a journey of self-discovery. It’s brought me to make lifestyle adjustments and seek personal growth that has helped me begin to heal a past that I couldn’t fully understand until now.
In taking the steps to push past the stigma, I found a new approach to life by seeking treatment. The journey hasn’t been easy, but if you or someone you love are considering seeking a formal diagnosis of any kind here are a few ways to get over that initial hump.
Trust your story
Nothing matters more than your lived experiences. Only you understand the connecting thread between your past and current experiences and how they have impacted your daily life. When talking to a psychiatric provider you’ll be asked a range of questions about your experiences as they evaluate you. Sometimes these questions may catch you off guard and leave you feeling like you didn’t get to tell the most important parts of what brought you there to start. The best way to handle this conversation is to go in with a plan.
If you journal, take a trip down memory lane and see what’s been coming up that’s important to share. If you’re currently working with a therapist, you can also ask them to help you prepare questions or suggest what’s worth bringing up. Researching common diagnostic criteria can also help you reflect on what symptoms feel relevant to you and your life experiences.
It's okay to want a second (and third, and fourth…) opinion
Taking the steps to find a diagnosis is a big leap that can open the door to a new world. It can feel like by even asking the question you are blowing up your life, but getting confirmation for yourself can be a huge sigh of relief.
Still, there are several reasons to want another opinion. Just like finding the right therapist can be a matchmaking journey, so is finding the right practitioner who listens and provides the best course of treatment for you. When I first started I decided medication management was right for me because it made the most sense for my lifestyle, condition, and the outcomes that I wanted from my mental health journey.
Remember that the right provider will never make you feel rushed, undervalued, or pressured to move beyond your own pace. It’s important to find people who will listen to and respect your concerns, sees you as an active participant in your healing, and looks to educate you along the path you both see fit.
Go at it with people you can trust
Going through the process of getting a diagnosis can seem scary and even isolating. Family and friends that have proven reliable can provide you with a safe space to understand your mental health and can even help you to reflect on ways your symptoms have appeared across your life in aspects that you may not have seen.
If you find that it’s challenging to talk to people around you, or are just not ready to share, peer support groups that are designed for people to express their lived experiences can help you find similarities and comfort in the stories of others.
Get curious about your condition
After diagnosis, take a proactive approach to understand and educate yourself on what you’re going through. Reading books, finding celebrities and figures you admire who share your condition, or even influencers that openly talk about their lives can help you start to understand what it is you’re dealing with.
While unfortunately, there is no perfect route to finding what works for you, looking at your condition from a place of journey and self-exploration can help you uncover treatment methods that may work well together. Finding the right thing and sticking with it can be a long process but it's a mission worth embarking on.
Prioritize living over suffering
Your mental health is health. And in the same way, we have to care for our body and physical hygiene our mental hygiene is equally as important. Despite what you may learn about yourself and your diagnosis, who you are as a person does not change. You’ve worked hard to get to where you are today and you should be proud of yourself.
Seeking a diagnosis is not an indictment or makes you a flawed person who has to live a life of shame. There is a wonderful world waiting for you as you embark on your mental health journey. Viewing it as the catalyst for your growth can help you see life through a better view and remove the stigma from yourself.
If this resonated know that there is a beautiful life waiting for you on the other side. Just remember to take your arm floaties.
Written and revised May 2022.
Think you’re ready to talk? Check out these mental health resources from Mental Health America and remember you are not alone
